How Could You?

dulu, if i lapar ader someone buy foods for me..dulu, if i sakit ader org bring me to the clinic..dulu, if i boring ader org bawa i p jalan2..dulu, if i sdih or down ader org yang cheer me up..dulu, if i cried ader someone yg hugs me and lean me a shoulder to cried.dulu, if i majuk ader org pujuk...dulu, if i need someone to talk, ader someone yg akan dgr..but now all GONE!!GONE easier just like that..quite terkilan coz almost 2 years tetiba kecundang mcm tuh jerr.we've been through together susah, senang, suka, duka bersama..but suddenly now musnah, punah semudah itu..i malas sgt nak kenal laki lain and nak start all over it again dari mula.I still frustrated, down & sad..it's hard for me to accept it coz i really love him..

i only have one heart..in my heart only have him :'( but at the same time i redha..tak semua apa yg kiter harap & inginkan dlm dunia ni kiter akan dapat..why this could happen to me?i ni truk sgt ka...can't u see my sacrifice, my care and my love to u?takder sifat perikemanusiaan..belas kasihan langsung..what kind of man is that?i know i'm not perfect too.i aways create a problem in our relationships.i always hurt ur feelings.but i still ada sifat perikemanusiaan..i takkan sesekali buang u trus mcm tuh..i always try to be the best women in ur heart..i want u happy to be with me..what's wrong with me...besar sgt ka salah i...why it's hard for u to accept my forgiveness?why u react like that to me? u have someone else now?how dare u broke my heart?u forget all ur swear n promises to me that u will love n care me til the end of ur life..lidah tak bertulang...janji-janji manis like lagu aishah..

i ajak untuk bawa berbincang but u give me many excuse and try to avoid seeing me.tiada benda yang tiada jalan penyelesaian.tapi u seem like want to ran away from me.seolah nak lepaskan t/jwb u..how could u?tergamak buat mcm tuh kat i...sdgkan u cintakan i sgt2, i can see through ur eyes and touch..eyes can't lies..where is ur love to me goes?only Allah knows how i feel..luaran nmpk i happy but deep inside my heart it really hurt me.i pretend to be like i'm ok but it is not.u mcm put all the blame on me saja. i know the way i treat u so bad..i keras kepala, degil, ego, kurang ajar dgn u...peristiwa lama buat i berubah jd mcm tuh..i taknak laki pijak kepala i & amik kesempatan ke ats kelembutan n kelemahan i..but i always try to change perangai buruk i.i dah berubah utk u.tapi i sad u tak nmpk all that.u seolah hanya nmpk keburukan i saja.i know u a nice man, the way u care bout me, i know u really love me..kiter slalu gaduh truk tapi sekejap jer then kiter akan berbaik balik..tapi skrg napa mcm takder jalan & ssh utk kiter berbaik smula.

i still remembered u propose me to be as ur wife..u know how happy i am that time..eventhough i'm not ready for a commitment but i really love u that's why i accept ur propose. we've planned that we will get marry end of next year.but now is it tinggal kenangan & angan-angan saja?it is true, kiter hanya mampu merancang tapi tuhan menentukan segalanya..takdir penentu segalanya..ajal, maut, jodoh, pertemuan, perpisahan semua ditangan tuhan.i confused with u..tak paham perangai u yg pelik..u ader msg i ckp i miss u..u ader antar mms pic u..hantar emoticon kiss/love la...ader msg u ckp u still luv me..ader msg u bg u nak antar rombongan nak meminang i la hr tuh..then u snyap lak..adakah u hanya pmainkan n pbodokan i jerr dgn ur words tuh..?saja nak bg i excited n syok sowang2? saja nak memalukan i kat my parent, family n relatives biler i sampaikan kat dorg yg u nak nikah dgn i pdhal u tak bermaksud pon?u know my family really like u n restu hubungan kiter..not easy my dad want to give a green light.tapi u lak yg buat taik dgn i..stop giving me hope if u didnt meant it.jgn mempermainkan perasaan org & aniayai org kerana tuhan maha adil.u will get that back if u hurt people feelings.

honestly, i betul2 terasa teramat sgt kehilangan u..i try to be strong but i can't..namun, yang memberi kekuatan kat i skrg adalah mama, daddy, abg, adeq, abah, mak, my girlfriends(ellie, balqis, lin, aida, kak dilla, kak azi, tini, era) and seseorang yang tnggal jauh dari Malaysia n i knal rapat slama 3thn lebih. dier la my gud listener, always be with me when i was sad n down,dier la my advisor..byk kata2 dier yg memberi smangat dlm idup i..thank u so much dear..besides, i still hoping and wish i and him will be back together and happy ever after..everyday i try to throw away him from my life but i can't coz i really love him so much.btol ckp ustaz kwn dad tuh jgn syg org lebih dr kiter syg diri kiter.nnt merana idup..erm, my false, rite..i kalo syg org mmg akan syg sgt2...now ape jd, i terpaksa tanggung penderitaan and seksaan sorang2..

i takkan berdendam dgn dier if he don't want me anymore. cinta tak boleh dipaksa.i hope he could change and wish him happy with his life.i berserah semua kepada tuhan..if we will meant to be only Allah knows and time will tell.now, everyday i hanya mampu berdoa...Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku, jika dia jodoh yang baik utk aku, Kau kekalkan hubungan kami dan satukan hubungan kami dgn ikatan yang sah...Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku, jika dia bukan jodoh yang baik utk aku, Kau tlg la aku buang dia dlm atiku dan idupku, dan Kau gantikan dier dgn jodoh yang baik utk aku..Amin Ya Rabbanal-Al-Amin..one more things i would like to share with uol video Jika Aku Jatuh Cinta. video ni mmg cukup meaningful..this is the video link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJoy6io06Hk